Asking for Help is Not a Sign of Weakness

I secretly love animated films although, after this public confession, it’s clearly not so secret anymore.

Of course, I watch them in the privacy of my own home. So, when I had the opportunity to actually go to the movie theatre to watch ‘Inside Out’ with my girlfriend Leanne and her 9 year old son Jett – the perfect cover story to be watching an animated movie in public – I was very excited.

Actually, I have been busting to see “Inside Out”. This is the latest Pixar movie and it is a transformational message wrapped in fantastic entertainment. It centers on the main character Riley and how, after a move with her family to San Francisco, her emotions deal with her new situation.

The emotions of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust are in HQ, a specific part of Riley’s brain and through an incident, I won’t spoil for you here, Joy and Sadness end up on an adventure through the other parts of Riley’s brain.

They touch on subjects like how core memories form personality, where long-term memories are stored, imagination, déjà vu and, my personal favorite, the Subconscious Mind.

My favorite line in the movie is: “The subconscious mind, where they send all the troublemakers.” If you read last week’s blog, it was all about those “troublemakers” or, limiting beliefs stored in the subconscious.

The cool thing about this movie is that it has opened up an incredible dialogue between parents and kids, where they now have something to reference to help them name their emotions, understand more how their brain works and why they sometimes do the things they do.

Now, I suspect this is helpful not only for kids to articulate how they are feeling, but also for adults.

You see, I have just finished another Advanced Workshop with my friend Dr. Joe Dispenza on the Sunshine Coast in Australia. In these workshops, my team and I help all participants create their own personal Mind Movie, and Dr. Joe has everyone use them in the workshop. He takes people through a process where they are connected to their subconscious mind, then repeatedly watch their Mind Movies and dimensionalize a scene from it.

That means actually putting themselves IN the movie in their mind, while in a meditative state. They can see, touch, smell, hear and taste everything in that scene and therefore, creating that moment in a dimension of time.

We are also brain-mapping people as this is happening. We measure brain activity, the different areas of the brain being activated and, what brain wave states are reached during this process.

The brain mapping results are fascinating and the real life results blow my hair back!

One stand out story was Sue, who shared her experience on stage. She and her husband are experiencing some financial challenges and have been trying to sell their house for months with no luck.

Sue included some slides in her Mind Movie about selling her home and, when she dimensionalized a scene during the above process, she was in her living room signing the papers with her husband and the Real Estate agent.

She could even smell the agent’s aftershave!

That evening, when she checked her phone, she had a message from her husband to urgently call him. When she did, her husband excitedly told her that there had finally been an offer on the house.

Seriously, it can really be that fast!

What was interesting was some of the conversations I was having with several of the participants about men and their emotions. Actually, this was an alarmingly common theme of discussion. The age bracket of men we were talking about was between 45 and 54ish and, the common theme is that they are angry.

They are upset, unhappy and lashing out at what’s in front of them…their family and partners. Now, in my experience, it’s not only men doing this. I mean, I am guilty of this myself. Glen has definitely copped the brunt of my frustration and unhappiness and me blaming him for every malady I ever experienced.

I believe that if we had a process of being able to name our emotions and sit long enough to ask the question “Why am I so unhappy?”, we could get some really insightful answers.

Because what I know for sure is that we are responsible for our own happiness and, as soon as we blame someone or something outside of us, we lose all power to do anything about it.

And, when we take our “scapegoat” out of the equation by leaving our spouses, having an affair or buying a new sports car, or new clothes, we are still left with the feelings of anger, frustration, upset and unhappiness, because they are not created from things outside of us.

To validate how prevalent this situation is in Australia right now, I heard a commercial on the radio here for “Davo’s Man Therapy”. This is an online website where “all sorts of blokes” can visit for advice and support. It is super masculine and clearly trying to reach even the toughest Aussie men who can’t possibly show weakness of any kind and, admit to anyone else they are struggling internally.

What I love most about this website is that it provides a space for men to get support, open up a conversation about what they don’t realize are common fears and doubts all men experience and, realize they are not alone when, as Davo says, “when life chucks stuff at ya”.

Yep! Just like women are craving for and reach out for this type of support, connection and shame shedding, it seems men are doing the same.

That makes my heart swell!

I suppose what I’m trying to say here is if you’re feeling sad, bad or completely unhappy, you can find the tools and man-uals you need to figure out the core of the issue, whether you’re male or female, with just a little investigation.

You can even simply watch “Inside Out” to begin that journey. :-)

Peace and mung beans!